Introvert’s 5 First Dates to Avoid (and alternatives) (SFW)

Woman with umbrella jumping

Introverts still like to get out and have a good time, secure in the knowledge once our energy starts dropping, there’s an escape. Not every date plan is the best date for an introvert.

Fortunately, going on a date with an introvert is great with some pre-planning. Here are some dates to avoid, and alternatives to try.

The “it’s too much for an introvert!” dates

An event that’s just too overstimulating and difficult to escape makes for a very difficult date for an introvert.

Conventions

 

Woman with umbrella
Comic, cosplay, and geek conventions might sound like a great first date on paper. There’s things to do and see, neat gizmos to buy, and a lot of hectic crowd energy. While this may scratch both of your interests, comic conventions are too noisy to make a great connection.

If you’re attending an event in your own city, you may not even have a hotel room to retreat to for some peace and quiet. Reprieve may only be found in panels, and Artist Alley while popular panels are going. If the date goes badly, it will be easy to lose your date. If the date goes well, there’s still a chance you might lose your date. Plus it’s difficult to impress someone with an overpriced hot dog.

Instead: Try embracing your mutual interests by going to a game cafe and sharing a drink over a fun board game. I recommend Battle Sheep, a goofy game that’s easy to learn and surprisingly strategic. I am not being paid to promote this game, I just think everyone should play it. ^_^

Sports

Man with ball

Play ball!

There will still be a great, energetic crowd, and if there’s overtime, you may be trapped in a noisy, hot arena for a long time. If the date is going poorly, alcohol is readily available… for far too high a price. Want to buy a trinket to commemorate a fabulous first date? That sports gear is a great idea, but again, not exactly budget-friendly.

 

Finally, getting home will be an arduous journey through gridlock or a sardine tin bus.

Instead: If your ideal first date is a rowdy, noisy good time, instead try a smaller music event in a music genre you both appreciate. It’ll still be loud and there’ll be space to dance and party instead of talk. But it will be easier to come and go as you please, and alcohol will be present and cheaper. If you stay in the back, you might even be able to converse. Finally, small music venues will allow you to exit and reenter the building if the event gets too stressful. Space for a breather or a cigarette.

Or, get out and play a game with your date!

The “it’s too quiet for an introvert!” date

Is this even possible? Of course it is, with this one main offender…

Movies in theatre

Movies are great, but not for a first date between two introverts, both naturally quiet people. There isn’t time getting to know your potential lover. While being stuck together for two hours in close proximity and a dark room might be a fabulous choice for dates number three, four, five and onwards, it does not offer space for conversational intimacy.

Introvert woman looking at paintings

Probably an introvert.

Instead try: checking out a new museum or science exhibit. Spending time to look through one installation will allow for both space to talk, and ensure that your surroundings are relatively peaceful. A museum is easy to escape if the going gets tough. Stay relevant by checking out something new. Or, if you and your introverted date haven’t visited an old faithful city installation, maybe now is the time to finally visit the city zoo polar bear room.

If your heart is set on watching a movie, share a terrible movie at home. Or look for “movie in the park” or drive in showings. Conversation is still possible and the movie is less likely to be new.

The “it’s too intimate for introverts!” dates.

Again, yes, this is very possible by organizing a date with no easy “out”.

Restaurants

A nice dinner! Seems harmless, but a lot of introverts are very shy about being seen eating. Being trapped face to face for as long as it takes to get your food, and through your food. All of the potential invitations to have a wine, have an after-dinner coffee, have a dessert…

With anxiety flying and uncertainty about who’s paying for whom (pro-tip: whoever makes the most money), save the fancy restaurant for a couple of dates in.

antique food truck

A delicious food truck (the food, not the truck).

Instead, if you’re still feeling peckish, try hitting up a food truck or hotdog stand and taking a walk through the park. If it’s winter, try a food court. No introvert could say no to a date at the book store. Stop and play a few games at the arcade and try win a stuffie for your sweetie-to-be. Laugh at some weird products in Spencers, and finish off the night knowing you’re going home to a great book to read.

Swimming or beaches

Swimming, whether in a lake or at a pool. If you’re both shy introverts, starting off your relationship by going half-naked is only going to make things that much more uncomfortable. And if one of you is that much more secure about their body, things might get uneasy. While I highly recommend swimming together as a great precursor to getting laid, it is not my number one choice for an activity. Save the cool water park for a few dates in.

Of course, if you feel bad about your body because you’re overweight, you can always hunt for dates on a dating site for big beautiful women, and go swimming knowing your body type is appreciated!
Couple sitting on park bench date
Instead, if you hope to do a physical activity and get some exercise in, try going for a bike ride to a nice picnic location. If it’s winter and outdoors activities aren’t likely to happen, other great active dates include climbing walls. Can’t climb? Try indoor ice skating, and my all time favorite indoor fun activity: trampoline parks.

August 25, 2016

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